Blog # 6: Identity and Artwork

I was in a deep state of fluctuation with my identity in high school. I was wrestling with who I was and who I wanted to be. I battled with such low self-esteem throughout middle school and a bit through out high school. I think that is one of the reasons I fell into some the traps that I did. I was in this awkward state of frailness and craving to be noticed. At the same time I believed all my ideas were flawless and I loudly voiced my opinions. Especially to my parents because they usually listened. I started realizing that things in the world aren't as they seem. I constantly wondered why everyone else could live with some of the harsh realities of the world. In middle school and high school I was emerging out of a sugar coated world and into reality.

I think my identity really began to develop much further once I was out of my parents house, living on my own, and starting to forging my own way through the world. Maybe our identities are in a constant state of development. Now, I know I look at things and see myself differently than I did when I first went to college and was getting my B.A.

I think my artwork is always changing in some aspect or another. It has definitely evolved from my work in high school. I am happy that I can still look back on a few of my high school works and appreciate them for what they are and what I was as an artist at that point of time in my life. When I was younger, I think my focus was on learning how to use different mediums instead of the messages that I wanted to send my viewers. I was more concerned with acquiring skills so I could later manipulate and alter them in some way.